Hey everybody! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!
Today I want to give out a few tips, I have learned. Tips to make sure that God is at the center of your relationship. Having God at the center of your relationship is vital to a lasting, happy, healthy relationship. In my opinion without God, relationships can be easily broken, filled with jealously, filled with anger, with a constant focus on past mistakes and much more. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:5).” For apart from God we can do nothing, but with God all things are possible both individually and in your relationship. With God in the center, it seems to be so much easier to forgive, love and put the other above yourself.
The first tip is probably the most important: put God first in your own life.
I know this is something that we may hear often, but putting God first is a very real way to living a joyful life. When we are putting God first we are telling Him that we are not the controllers of our lives, we are not the gods of our lives, and no matter how hard we may act like we have it all together, we need Him. God created you, He loves you and He controls the outcome.
To not put Him first seems illogical right? By putting God first, we are also handing Him our relationships. The best thing about handing a relationship over to God, by putting Him first, is the wisdom He gives you. He is able to provide healing to a broken relationship, continue to add joy and excitement in dull relationships, and sometimes He saves us from toxic relationships because He has someone so much better in mind. This only happens as long as you put Him first.
The closer we move toward God the closer we move toward each other.
The second tip is to pray for each other and pray for your relationship.
Prayer is such an important aspect to any relationship. Praying for someone else is so powerful! Prayer works, prayer is real, God hears and answers every single prayer. “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us (1 John 5:14).”
So praying for your significant other and your relationship is so important, we must not look over it. We know what our loved ones are going through probably better than anyone else, if we don’t pray for them, do you think anyone else is? Even praying something as simple as: “Lord ___ is having a rough day today use me to give him/her comfort.” Or even prayers to thank God for the awesome characteristics of your relationship.
The third tip is to pray with each other.
To many this may seem uncomfortable to pray with your significant others, but it is such a blessing to be able to do this. Trust me, the first time Ryan and I ever prayed together we were so awkward, we were embarrassed to say the wrong thing, or embarrassed to not say anything at all. Over time it became natural. Now it is so important for our relationship together and us as individuals. God says, “For when two or three gather in my name, there I am with them (Mathew 18:20).” This verse has held true in my experiences, when Ryan and I pray together God’s presence is strong.
Four, read the bible together.
Reading the bible is so important in our daily lives to getting to know God and His heart. Reading the bible together helps both of us to not only learn more about God, but we get to learn more about each other, each time. One thing Ryan and I started doing was looking up 30 day bible studies on Pinterest. We take out time each day and read the verses that are suggested for that day. We read it to ourselves and write down anything we notice, think or feel about the verse. After this we both share what we wrote and discuss it. This has made a huge impact on our relationship, in making us not only put God at the center but it has also helped us get tremendously closer to each other.
Another awesome thing about doing a bible study with another person is how much more you learn. So when we share what we learned, I have observed there is always something Ryan noticed that I didn’t notice, or there is always a perspective that He had that I had not thought about. “Your word is a lamp for my feet, and a light on my path (Psalm 119:105).”
The last and fifth tip is to embrace God’s attitude when it comes to forgiveness.
We make mistakes everyday and if you have accepted Jesus as your savior, you have been forgiven each time for those mistakes because of the tremendous love He has for us. God has new mercy every single morning for us. “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23).” Many times in our relationships we do the complete opposite of this.
It is so easy to say to someone that you forgive them, but then the next fight you have you pull up the past that you said you had already forgiven them for. This type of grudge hurts a relationship into its core. This means 1. bringing up the past never ends well and 2. that you are holding on to something deep inside yourself that is still hurting you. Human nature is to make mistakes, with God these mistakes can be few but they still happen. When we say we forgive, we need to truly forgive, let it go, wipe the slate clean. God does this for us everyday, so we can try to forgive in our relationships too.
Those are five tips that I have learned to help keep God right in the center of my relationship.
I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone with some of these and use them in your relationship. Write them down somewhere to remind you, practice and see God work wonders in your lives together!
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 4-7).”
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